Every audience is different. A speech that goes over great at a Chamber of Commerce luncheon may fall flat at a business networking dinner. As a public speaker, often there’s no way to know exactly how an audience will react.

Making your audience squirm is a sure-fire way to have the speech as a whole fall flat. From sitting in audiences to being the public speaker, I’ve seen many ways to make your audience squirm. Let’s try and avoid these, eh?

1. Being Unprepared. Now, you may think you’re prepared. But if your preparation consisted of brushing up on your topic and little more, you are definitely unprepared. And it will show. Preparation for a public speaker means writing, rehearsing, re-writing, rehearsing again, etc., until you could give the speech without notes.

2. Using Inappropriate Humor. Wow, it still amazes me that some public speakers do this. But it happens. Try and tell a joke that falls flat. Tell a joke that’s even slightly off-color. You may get a few chuckles from some like-minded members of the audience, but the rest will be staring you down. Ethnic jokes? No way.

3. Going past your scheduled time. If you’re scheduled for a 15-minute talk, it’s a sure bet that people will start to look at their watches and squirm by about the 16th minute. They’ll be checking Blackberries, looking towards the door and trying to figure out how much longer you’ll drone on. And they’ll be thinking of ways they can escape.

4. Show your lack of confidence. Depending on the audience, this may not be such a big deal. But if your confidence meter is at its lowest ebb, it won’t be long before your audience senses it. Some will feel uncomfortable and others will silently root for you. This is the time to find the boldness within and put it on for all to see. Smile. Walk tall. Speak confidently. Of course, if you have rehearsed your speech enough so that you can give it by memory, you’ve probably shaken a lot of those butterflies.

5. Appearing distracted. Speaking gigs are occasionally going to have their distractions. You may be near a railroad track; the yard crew might be driving a lawnmower right outside; the kitchen staff might be clearing the tables. Anything can distract you, but will you let it? Best way to handle a distraction is to judge it by the audience’s reaction. If it’s a major distraction (train going by 300 feet away drowns out your speech), you might have to tell your audience you’ll continue as soon as you can hear yourself think! If a distraction is minor, keep moving and you’ll be okay.

6. Give a disorganized speech. If your audience is unable to follow along and see the major parts of your speech, many will start to squirm. Make it easy for the audience to follow along and they will.

7. Try and tell a joke with a punchline (see #2). While this is similar to using inappropriate humor, it’s not the same. Unless you’re a professional joke-teller, leave the punchlines at home. If your audience doesn’t laugh, you’re stranded. And they’re uncomfortable. Tell an anecdote or a funny story instead.

8. Stretch out your conclusion. ‘Nailing’ the close is one of the biggest challenges for most public speakers. Lots of public speakers will instead make their audience squirm by stretching it out and waiting for the right moment to escape. Sorry, you have to prepare your closing, too! If nothing else, summarize what you just told your audience, urge them to make either a physical or mental action, and sit down. And bask in the applause.