According to The Book of Lists, the fear of
public speaking ranks number one in the minds of the majority of people.
Far above the fear of death and disease, comes the fear of standing in
front of a crowd. We all want to be movie stars, but are terrified of
the spotlight. I have some opinions about why this happens, to be
covered in a future article.
My first public humiliation came when, as a
top-heavy mushroom in the second grade play, I fell off the stage. I hid
for weeks. Kids are more cruel than any other species of animal, since
they tell the truth. Surely I would never be a whole human being again.
I might as well have died. Two days later, all of the other kids had
forgotten the whole thing.
My next recollection of public speaking was in
the fifth grade, when Ms. Norris the Nasty announced, "Mr. Eggleston,
your 10 minute speech will be, The influence of Persian Literature on
the New Jersey Turnpike Design," or something equally stupid, I again
bombed. Finally, I had a temper tantrum. It was on stage, in assembly. I
will always remember how the words were propelled from me by some
supernatural, alien force.
"Miss (We Didn't Have Ms. in those Days) Norris,
I spent all year trying to get somebody to listen to me. Now that you
want to listen, why can't I talk about what I want to say? "
After having to write I must not yell at the
teacher in assembly, 500 times, I discovered that I had earned a new
respect among my peers. I was an INSTIGATOR! This rebellious nature has
stuck with me through today. I have learned to channel it somewhat, and
temper it a lot, but it is nevertheless there, and has become an asset
rather than a liability.
What has this little anecdote added to the
message? Not a lot, except I just told you two of the most embarrassing
moments in my life, and you are still reading (listening to) this! It
was not the end of the world. Soon, I realized that as long as I
believed in what I was saying, I could say it! The more passionately I
believed it, the more passionately I talked about it.
The real great awakening came quite a few years
later when I realized that umpty million years from now, when the sun
grows to burn the Earth to a cinder, that stupid mushroom is not very
important in the cosmic sense.
Once I realized that if I become sufficiently
important to be paid to legally humiliate myself in front of people, who
are sufficiently important to really matter, I will never have to work
again!
I stopped worrying about what people would think
about me, when I realized how seldom people think about anyone but
themselves.
There is no real trick to public speaking, there
is only confidence.
If you can not begin by having confidence in
yourself, you must begin by having confidence in your message.
Yes, I was an obtuse bore, but eventually
someone asked me to come talk to their customers about my current
obsession, quality. How many people could it be, 8 or ten? I arrived at
a building that looked like a city on Krypton and suddenly got that fear
again.
When I was ushered into a quiet little
conference room, complete with tea and crumpets, I lost a bit of that
fear. I began rehearsing what I was going to say, focusing on how I was
going to concentrate on only one person at a time, and talk personally
to every one, even if there were as many as 15 or 20 people. From time
to time, someone would pop their head in to announce that the audience
would arrive in ten or fifteen minutes. On the five minute call, I paid
a visit to the water closet, and was steeled for the worst.
Eventually someone popped in and with the tone
of a judge invoking death by slow torture said, "Mr. Eggleston, You're
Up."
I sort of blindly followed her into this grand
auditorium, filled with more people that have ever existed in one space
since Woodstock. The house lights were up, and I could see all of their
faces. Worse yet, they could see me. Is my tie straight, is my shirt
stained, oh my God is my fly down?...
Help me, I'm dying out here!
I heard the last syllable of my name over a PA
speaker that surely belonged in Yankee Stadium. Some deep voiced, macho
announcer type shook my hand, pointed me to a white dot in front of a
microphone, and pronounced sentence on my soul.
"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my name is
Steve Eggleston, and I'm here to help you get excited about quality!"
Now wait -- anticipate -- "My God, I have their
attention! No tomatoes, cream pies, boos or Bronx cheers. Hey, that was
pretty easy, I'm going to go for it."
I stepped out of the character that was Steve
Eggleston, the timid wimp, and into the character that was Steve
Eggleston, confident public speaker, quality expert and slayer of
dragons.
I have little memory of my performance, only
that when it was over, there was applause. I was at once exhilarated and
exhausted. This, however, was a very well scripted and thoroughly
rehearsed speech. The Torture Master, however, had not finished with me.
He stepped to the mike and announced on my behalf;
"...I am certain that Mr. Eggleston won't mind
entertaining a few questions from the audience..."
Oh no... free fall... no net... no Kevlar
vest!!!!!! - and worst of all, no carefully scripted character behind
which to hide!
Here, however, I could talk to one person at a
time. I could let my gaze wander while I was speaking, but would always
return to that one person.
When I finished with the question and answer
session, there was again, applause. I knew I had done well, and was
booked for a repeat performance.
From that trial by fire forward I would never
again find myself terrified of a live audience.
Yes, I get nervous, but it is not the
counterproductive gnawing fear that I had shared with so many other
people. Nerves are good. They help you think of details you might
otherwise forget. "Check Your Tie, Check Your Fly, Say It Right then Say
Good-bye!"
Coming to a minor revelation, I realized that
the "rules" for speaking that I had heard for years were true. Know your
subject, prepare both intellectually and emotionally, speak with
confidence, and be sincere, whether you mean it or not.
The next hurdle was the Television Camera. I had
spent a lot of time behind a camera, as a still photographer, and as a
fill in studio camera operator for a Washington, DC television station,
but the front of one was a different story. Again, some rules apply.
One of the secrets of being a good photographer
of people, is to relate to the subject, and get them to relate to you.
If done well, the camera soon ceases to exist. It becomes an extension
of the photographer's persona.
When it finally became my turn in the television
lights, I arrived early, and introduced myself to the camera operators.
Not just a "Hi, I'm Steve," but I took time to chit-chat with them for a
few minutes while they were setting up. Since I established a prior
dialogue with each of them (at least in my mind,) it was relatively easy
to look through the camera, and speak to the person behind it.
I pretended that the camera crew, stage manager
and director were interested in what I had to say. They verified their
interest when they vied for my attention by turning on little red lights
on top of their cameras.
Still-picture cameras, however, continue to make
my toes curl. Luckily, I have become quite skilled at avoiding them.
PS: If you are afraid of speaking because you
have a voice like a rusty bucket of broken glass being stirred with a
dull chainsaw, I have only one word for you; Ross Perot! Steve Eggleston