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Public Speaking Skills Training: Public Speaking Seminar - Overcoming Fear by Finding the External Archimedean Point
Does this story sound familiar to you?
"As a kid, I was labeled an 'introvert' by my school friends. Needless
to say I hate that word! I was timid and I was anxious in the company of
others. I behaved rather odd at formal functions, and I was unpopular at
parties. This is the reason why for the first half of my life, I didn't
hang out much at clubs...."
Is the reason you are reading public speaking articles is that you are
now an adult, and besides the fact that your age changed, the bottom
line with regard to your social anxiety is still the same?
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of your fear of public
speaking? Are you planning to do something to change your stage fright?
Be warn, this public speaking article is not trivial to understand and
requires more than one reading.
Still here? Good, persistence is a virtue!
As you know each one of us has its own style and willingness to try
different approaches for solving various problems. We will refer to
overcoming the fear of public speaking, but I am sure that by the end of
this public speaking article, you may find my words worth for other
areas too.
Take action!
Reading more and more public speaking tips for reducing stress will
certainly make you more knowledgeable, but will not bring you a long
term solution. When dealing with unexplained public speaking fears and
anxiety, collecting more and more knowledge, can help for calming the
symptoms for the short term, but not to solve them.
What is required is to perform some internal "switch" in your mind, and
this is usually available via guided activity, where someone with
external perspective, and probably more experience - help you to "map"
the public speaking problem, and untie those nexuses that block you from
achieving a productive behavior.
What I mean by "mapping" a symptom, in this case the fear of public
speaking is to bring into awareness the ingredients that compose the
symptom and the linking between those ingredients. Those links are the
forces of gravity that shape your internal "space-time" - call it
personality.
Mapping includes the exposure of both: hidden preconditions and external
expressions.
You possibly know about your inner self few of the things you will
reveal again during the process, or maybe you don't, the important fact
is that you have difficulty to weave, those "internals" into the
"legitimate public expression" of yours - what you call reality. You
work hard to suppress some of the forces and that work finally acts
against you! Instead of helping you to be more productive.
By external expressions on the other end I mean all those symptoms you
encounter when your fear of public speaking is in action. In addition
environmental conditions, and expressions of your body, such as mimic,
pitch of your voice and even that "black spot" somewhere you are making
so much effort to hide, while standing in front of other people.
So mapping means exposing a network of relations between all the
internal and external aspects of the behavior you put under
investigation. Exploring the gravities of your internal cosmos - if you
want to think of it more visually.
All those words may sound to you very psychological, but this process of
mapping ingredients of our behavior, is not limited to the subject of
public speaking anxiety. It happens daily in various events that involve
some interaction with "other" person. This "other" or "others" are not
necessarily present physically. Virtual "other" may act the same.
The image or idea, we hold of this "other" is what really important
because it provide us with kind of "mirror" to echo and feed us back
with our words thoughts and behavioral expressions. Now we actually
reveal is where the importance of the "guide" (trainer, coacher,
therapist).
Again, this is not necessarily someone who physically present with us in
the same room! It is that fact that we did some step to construct an
external point of view as part of our journey toward a solution.
Can you do it alone?
If you are acting to solve your speaking anxiety problem by your own
(which is a good sign for itself since it signal a motivation and
responsibility) you are echoed by your own introspective thoughts. It
means you rarely produce the so required difference -the gap between two
alternatives, external to each other.
For a difference to occur, some external "other" must exist. Else, you
do not produce a change in your "position" toward your problem, which is
the most crucial for making that switch.
To re-map the ingredients, that is the secret key. And it is very
difficult to achieve alone, only by collecting information, without the
presence of some external "other".
When you are guided by some "other," you can actually map your behavior
and then when relationships between ingredients are expressed (not
necessarily - consciously) doing the re-mapping become available, change
gravity between those "bodies" that construct your mental life and that
my friend means - a true change!
Your Goal - engage with some "other" for working toward a change
I will soon refer you to some programs you can check. Whether to
purchase or not that is your own decision.
All I am saying for ending this article is that the act of "paying" for
treatment, or training, or coaching (call it whatever you like) is
highly significant in terms of making the crucial step for engaging with
external "other".
The function of "willing to pay" for solution, is the function of
deciding to take responsibility for a commitment to "work" on your
problem by binding to external "other".
A little secret - if someone is a compulsive buyer "of solutions" for
unexplained problem, then the act of "making the purchase" is part of
the symptom, and cannot be refer as engagement to work via some "other".
On the contrary, we refer it as resistance to change.
Because of that there are smart therapist that when identify this, they
do not let the patient pay for the first session. Instead they will ask
him to think for the "next session" about a reasonable price. In that
case, the fact that this patient come to the next session (and in some
cases, set the "price") is the act that signifies for engagement to
work.
This is your goal! No matter what method you will finally choose:
Do the step for breaking your inner world (Your Wall - Pinky) by
connecting with external "other" and not just external "information".
That is a huge Difference!
Source: Nimrod Adler
link
Subject: Public Speaking Seminar
